7 Benefits that Drive Human Behavior: MT. SAMIE
Whether you want to obtain new business, sell your boss on an idea, or even if you want something from your family and friends, remember the universal language we all speak — what’s in it for me?
This may seem like common sense, but it is usually what is missing when we make requests. When someone asks us to do something, we tend to evaluate it and consider the request based on what is in it for us. When we ask someone else to do something, we usually think about what is in it — for us. Therein lies the problem. We think about what is in it for us — even though the key to getting the things we want is to be honest and upfront about what is in it for the other person.
Want a raise? Think about what’s in it for your boss. Want someone to assist you on a project? Think about what’s in it for them. Want someone to turn in some paperwork on time, turn in a time sheet on time, or come to a meeting on time? You know what to do. The truth is that people will go to great lengths, overcome huge obstacles, or carve out time in a very busy day if there is enough benefit for them to do so.
Children are great models of this behavior. Without any training, children realize that to get what they want, they have to explain how others will benefit. Notice what children will say when they are being persuasive: “I will love you more,” “I will clean up my room,” “I will stop bugging you,” and my all-time favorite, “I won’t ever ask you for anything else.” Like children, we need to state the benefit to the other person upfront and clearly.
So, when you are thinking about asking someone to do something, whether in your business or personal life, think about what would persuade them to agree and be honest upfront with them. Think about and implement MT. SAMIE.
MT. SAMIE
The acronym MT. SAMIE stands for the seven major benefits that drive human behavior. The key to cooperation is to connect your requests to some of these benefits. The more benefits, the more likely the other person will agree and fulfill your request.
1. Money.
Money clearly motivates people. If you can show those who are motivated by money how fulfilling your request will help them make or save money, you will probably capture their attention. For many organizations, money/revenue is a primary motivator. As an employee, if you can show how your request will make or save the organization more money, you may motivate the powers that be to take action.
2. Time.
It is staggering how many people are time-impoverished. If you can show how fulfilling your request will save the other person time, you may motivate the person to take action. For example, you might say, “Boss, can you help me handle Herman? I figure this situation with him is wasting about 20 percent of my time. So if you could help me handle Herman better, I could save all that time, which would enable me to take things off your plate and save you time.” The benefit for the boss in that situation is clear.
3. Security.
People tend to search for things that will give them a sense of security and help them avoid risk. Look at what people will put up with in an effort to stay where they are in a job or in a relationship that is not really what they want. Why? Because they are afraid of risk, and they like the security. A leader can capitalize on people’s desire for security by reminding his or her staff that the best way to protect against reorganization is for everyone to do the best job they can. A manager can tell his or her employees that they need to complete a task because it is part of their jobs, and they will be held accountable. The approach may seem heavy-handed, but if someone is not doing the job, a manager sometimes needs to be just that. This is, hopefully, a situation of last resort.
4. Achievement.
Achievement is about producing results. Have you ever done something that was not on your to-do list and then written it in just to have the satisfaction of crossing it off? We like the feeling of accomplishing things; we like achieving goals. If your request will help someone achieve something they want to achieve, they’ll likely do what you want. A leader who clearly shows how the organization’s vision and goals will benefit every employee understands this. The key is not to say everyone will benefit but to show people exactly how. On the flipside, employees whose requests would help the boss achieve his or her goals are more likely to get attention.
5. Making a difference.
Making a difference is one of the top motivators for people. We all want to make a difference, a real difference. How often have you stayed at work extra hours just to help someone out, whether or not you made any money from it? How often do you donate your time for community service? How about doing big favors or something really nice for someone? We do this because we want to contribute. Making a difference for others makes us feel good. Now, oddly enough, we sometimes use this benefit against ourselves.
How? When we hide how important something is to us or the effect it has on us, we motivate the other person to continue their actions, because they are unaware of our feelings and the effect of their actions. People will often stop doing what they are doing if we simply let them know how their actions are affecting us. You might be surprised how often people have no idea about the effect of their actions. Consider yourself for a moment. Has anyone ever gotten upset with you out of the blue over something you had been doing for a long time, but they had never told you how much it bothered them?
What was your response? Probably, “Why didn’t you say this before?” Think how many times you’ve heard someone — or yourself — say, “Well, if I’d only known how important it was to you…” Someone who is missing deadlines might stop missing them if we explain the effect it is having on us. The point here is that many people would help us if we would just ask and let them know what a difference it would make. This works on the personal side as well. Ask your significant other to make dinner or take out the garbage. Let them know what a difference it would make. It works a lot better than blaming.
6. Image.
Image is an interesting benefit, because people lie about caring. People say they don’t care what others think about them, but truthfully most of us at least care about what some people think. For example, why do we have a hard time saying no to someone, even if we’re already overcommitted? Because often we’re concerned about how people will view us. And, incidentally, you should care about your image. For instance, suppose you work hard, but your boss perceives you as a person who does not work hard. Who has a problem? This is why organizations are so concerned, and rightfully so, with their images. For example, if there is a co-worker you have had some challenging conversations with, you might say, “My request is X. I have heard others comment on how much we are arguing, which is probably negatively affecting how both of us are perceived. Can we figure out some ways to work more effectively together?”
7. Enjoyment.
Many times we forget that enjoyment is a driving factor. If your request is going to increase someone’s enjoyment, you’re likely to capture their attention and increase their drive to resolve the issue. For example, someone who we find stressful and difficult to talk to is probably thinking the same thing about us. Use increased enjoyment and less stress as a benefit to resolve an issue. For example, suppose you have to talk to an employee about poor job performance. You could say, “Let’s figure out a plan to get you back on track and then we won’t have to have these stressful, upsetting conversations.” By the way, children are experts at this one. They never forget to let us know that the benefit of giving them what they want is that they will stop annoying us and that things will be more peaceful and enjoyable for you.
The seven benefits of the acronym MT. SAMIE are not about manipulating the other person. The benefits are actually about respecting the other person. Rather than complaining because someone is not cooperating with you, agreeing with you, or giving you what you want, think and talk with that person to find out what might be in it for them. If you are not sure, you can always ask.
Even if your request is denied, by clearly mentioning what might be in it for them, you send a message that you are trying to consider their interests. Some of this may seem obvious — but obvious doesn’t mean people are doing it. After all, when was the last time someone made a request of you and told you what would be in it for you? Speak the universal language of benefits. It is the key to getting what you want!
About the Author
Thousands credit Steven Gaffney’s keynote addresses, breakout sessions and intense seminars with making the critical difference in helping improve communication, boost teamwork, increase productivity and generate new business. Gaffney’s speeches and seminars, combined with his print interviews and media appearances for his two books — Honesty Works! Real-World Solutions to Common Problems at Work & Home (2006) and Just Be Honest: Authentic Communication Strategies that Get Results and Last a Lifetime (2002) — have enabled him to help individuals and organizations make a significant impact. His clients include the Marriott, SAIC, American Cancer Society, American Express, Lockheed Martin, Citigroup, Raytheon, Texas Instruments, the Environmental Protection Agency, NASA and the U.S. Navy.
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